He said at first it hurt but now he takes it good and loves the feeling when all the warm sperm comes in his bowels. I say I know man I agree with you on that. We look over and see the dogs playing in the other room. They aren't interested in us at the moment. Sometimes they come over and we talk to them real sweet through the screen on the small window. I was getting sick of this cake. I tell Billy he is lucky he don't have to eat any. He say's I can have as much dog food as I want and I said thanks because it looked good. The fresh water was a nice feature he installed. It ran off electricity somehow and when we got out mouth close to it it would slowly squirt out water in our mouth. The bathing pool was not clean now and we stayed away from it. We had to clean off the shit in it and it isn't self cleaning. It is on day three now and the doctor should be back in two days. We are doing fine except for the dried shit on the wall. We have seen most of the marathon and it repeats. I didn’t like that I was afraid of this woman. She was in control of something base in me, and I had no idea what she was going to do with that control. In truth, I wanted her. I fucking wanted to have this woman stimulate me daily. Nightly. All the time. I wanted to bend her over the bed and fuck her until she was black and blue. I wanted her sex, and, yes, a part of me actually wanted her to control me. There, I said it. I wasn’t like that normally. I would give and take in relationships, but I always held my own as my own. No one was going to push me where I didn’t want to go. Drunks are like that. Control allows us access to the next bottle, the next high. Give up that control and you give up…you give up your life. Not a great life, I’ll admit. But it was mine. And it wasn’t all that bad.So no, I didn’t give up control a lot. I like to be able to get a handle on things that could affect my consistent routine. I work, I play, I drink. If I have a relationship, she has to fit in.
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